Who's Queen?

[la_marquise]

I wish to complain most strongly about today. It is not the day I ordered. At first, it all appeared to be going as required -- my cunning midnight ruses caused the humans to exclude both boy cats from their bedroom for being wildebeests, leaving me as sole cat and Supreme Mistress of the Pillows. This was good. Then female human got up when I told her, without me having to over-exert myself by turning all her tissues into confetti. (I only tore one. This is almost proper service, though I think they could read my mind if they only tried.) And I got acceptable food at breakfast, for once, and stupid Horus who is stupid did not dare try and steal it. I am Mighty! He Fears Me!
Then it all started to go wrong. The nice sunny day I had ordered does not work properly. There are clouds and things. This is not right. Then the marquise decided to do messing about with her fur, which is wet and makes Bad Smells and distracts her from paying attention to me. And now she's doing cleaning which is even more wet.
Something should be done. I demand recompense.
Imperiously,
Mooncat.

Comments

[the-faery-queen.livejournal.com]

i love the photo mooncat, you are very elegant indeed. and im sorry the day isn't as requested. it's not bad here, at the moment, if you fancy a holiday.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Thank you. I'm not completely happy with my new portrait, as the marquise did not give me enough time to prepare myself, but it will do for now.
I might be able to visit, if your resident feline masters are ready to accept my glory and importance.
Mooncat.

[the-faery-queen.livejournal.com]

you have a very fetching nose, which is clearly clear in the picture. very regal :) i can't speak for my master and mistresses im afraid, but i can promise that i will appreciate and honour your importance :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

It is rather a delightful nose. Though all too often it's *in* things (like my food)...
Kari

[the-faery-queen.livejournal.com]

your food, cats food. it's the same thing :)

[baka-kit.livejournal.com]

My sunshine hasn't arrived either! And my human is engaged in something called a "job search" which means that she's in a bad mood. Besides, her job is paying attention to me!

Hobbes

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

They are very bad. We need to be firmer.
Mooncat.

[a-d-medievalist.livejournal.com]

Dear Mooncat,

you have nothing to complain about. My human did not go to bed till three in the morning, and then slept till ten. Needless to say, there was an absence of cuddling and -- even worse -- breakfast was FOUR HOURS LATE.

One tissue? you are clearly losing your touch. I left a medical bill that the human wanted to send for moneys in shreds all over the floor.

I suggest having a re-think and working just a bit harder. I find rapidly pawing the duvet next to the human heads is a Good Thing. Also, if you can hold your breath long enough, you can try to chew her hair. This will perhaps encourage her to leave the Smelly Stuffs alone.

Please continue to frighten the boys. My human has said many nice things about you, but for some reason she likes the stupid soppy daft fat cat, and she also thinks that stupid Horus is special. She does not understand about stupid boys.

All best in solidarity,

Rose

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Dear Rose,
You are right. Digging and scrabbling on the duvet is always good. I wanted to shred her book but it was the kindle thing (which is BAD) so I had to make do with tissues. I will try harder.
Boys must be kept down,
your sister in suffering,
Mooncat.

[leita-love-bug.livejournal.com]

Dear Mooncat,

My stupid brother Sebastian is trying to kill me this morning. He is jealous of all the loves I had last night from The Extra Food Giver, Mom's mom.

Mom keeps talking about a baby sister. Last time she talked about a baby sister, I got Sebastian. This time is different somehow, though I haven't quite figured out how. There are lots of nice, new things in the house but I'm not allowed to play with or sleep on most of them - they are for THE BABY. I thought I was the baby!

It is past time for breakfast, but Mom is neglecting to feed us, which is probably why Sebastian is trying to kill me. He has been in a bad mood with so many humans visiting. He does not appreciate all the extra loves as I do, choosing instead to plot the demise of the smelly man mom married from under the bed. I think he secretly loves the man. I love the man. He gives the BEST loves, but don't tell mom I said so.

Speaking of mom, I need to remind her of her primary purpose - opening the yummy food can. She doesn't let me have much (says I'm getting fat ... She should look in the mirror!) but it's OK. I steal from Sebastian while he's busy brooding. This is what he gets for trying to kill me.

Love,
Shadow-Man, a non-stupid boy cat

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

This is very bad! Your humans are clearly Up To Something. You need to keep a very close watch on them. Sleep on their heads!
yours,
Mooncat.