I also love this post. I also like it better than LeGuin's, because you are speaking about an "us", while she manages to distance herself from "them". As another PGG and also Professional Elephant Spotter (as you well know), I know that horrible feeling of hearing some of the voices scream not to say anything while at the same time compelled by Duty to say something. A colleague of mine used to say people like us were the Truth-Tellers. It's not always appreciated. I haven't reached a point where I am comfortable with it, either.
But...
I have developed some ways of dealing with it better. I don't usually worry about whether standing up for principles will jeopardize my relationship with someone else, BUT I *do* weigh the costs of my relationships with others. Does it make sense to argue with someone who is convinced s/he's absolutely right, if it will hurt my relationship with friends close to that someone? Not so much. Now if they *do* something wrong that hurts other people? I'm less likely to restrain myself.
I have found that it's far easier to speak up for principles at work or in public, rather than amongst friends. But I still try to count to 10 first, just to share the target with someone else.
But this is something you should remember, I think. Even though it causes problems, and even though people who feel the need to speak out end up with lots and lots of flak wounds, we often meet some of the best people and become friends with them precisely because we spoke out, and recognized each other -- even when the principles might not be exactly our own, there's something attractive about integrity. It's the kind of reward I can live with, and for most of the people I know who are like you, it's the kind of reward that reinforces the principles, the willingness to examine one's motives, and keeps a person reasonably humble about being right. Those are all good things in my book :-)
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But...
I have developed some ways of dealing with it better. I don't usually worry about whether standing up for principles will jeopardize my relationship with someone else, BUT I *do* weigh the costs of my relationships with others. Does it make sense to argue with someone who is convinced s/he's absolutely right, if it will hurt my relationship with friends close to that someone? Not so much. Now if they *do* something wrong that hurts other people? I'm less likely to restrain myself.
I have found that it's far easier to speak up for principles at work or in public, rather than amongst friends. But I still try to count to 10 first, just to share the target with someone else.
But this is something you should remember, I think. Even though it causes problems, and even though people who feel the need to speak out end up with lots and lots of flak wounds, we often meet some of the best people and become friends with them precisely because we spoke out, and recognized each other -- even when the principles might not be exactly our own, there's something attractive about integrity. It's the kind of reward I can live with, and for most of the people I know who are like you, it's the kind of reward that reinforces the principles, the willingness to examine one's motives, and keeps a person reasonably humble about being right. Those are all good things in my book :-)