Where I grew up it was called "making a pass," not "harassment."
From age 13 passes made at me were part of my life. By the time I got to college, there surely were periods in which a pass was made every day, from professors, other students, you name it.
I just didn't think that much of it BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO A GIRL - WOMAN.
Until el V and I got married and we were living in NYC. He went with me to attend my first ever sf/f event, which was a reading by pro writers at a lamentably no longer in existence bookstore on Columbus Circle. One of the readers was Asimov. The way he talked to me in the audience Q&A afterwards, the way he looked at me and touched me after that with the little wine and cheese thing -- el V wanted to deck him. It happened again later that year, and several times after with Big Name SF/F people, and it was el V's response that told me this wasn't to be expected or accepted.
I don't think this will ever end. But we can make do a much better job these days of making clear such behavior isn't acceptable -- particularly done to the very young girls and guys at cons or other sf/f events -- and make it safer for them.
I generally didn't feel particularly endangered -- but I sure did feel squicked. But because I didn't feel that way, doesn't mean others don't. I also think that there's more overtly dangerous sexual harassment and rape going on these days targeted at women in particular in this field than in those days. But that's purely anecdotal observation on my part. I have no way of knowing whether or not that is the case.
But what happened to my sister was unthinkable when I was her age. And what happened to me later as well (though before her ordeal) -- I have always blamed on the dangerous city in which I lived -- Albuquerque -- and that I didn't have a car. The city was -- and still is -- very dangerous. Only New Orleans, I think, is more dangerous than this in the U.S. And that's why I don't live in NO -- it IS too dangerous, even with a car, for anyone.
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From age 13 passes made at me were part of my life. By the time I got to college, there surely were periods in which a pass was made every day, from professors, other students, you name it.
I just didn't think that much of it BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO A GIRL - WOMAN.
Until el V and I got married and we were living in NYC. He went with me to attend my first ever sf/f event, which was a reading by pro writers at a lamentably no longer in existence bookstore on Columbus Circle. One of the readers was Asimov. The way he talked to me in the audience Q&A afterwards, the way he looked at me and touched me after that with the little wine and cheese thing -- el V wanted to deck him. It happened again later that year, and several times after with Big Name SF/F people, and it was el V's response that told me this wasn't to be expected or accepted.
I don't think this will ever end. But we can make do a much better job these days of making clear such behavior isn't acceptable -- particularly done to the very young girls and guys at cons or other sf/f events -- and make it safer for them.
I generally didn't feel particularly endangered -- but I sure did feel squicked. But because I didn't feel that way, doesn't mean others don't. I also think that there's more overtly dangerous sexual harassment and rape going on these days targeted at women in particular in this field than in those days. But that's purely anecdotal observation on my part. I have no way of knowing whether or not that is the case.
But what happened to my sister was unthinkable when I was her age. And what happened to me later as well (though before her ordeal) -- I have always blamed on the dangerous city in which I lived -- Albuquerque -- and that I didn't have a car. The city was -- and still is -- very dangerous. Only New Orleans, I think, is more dangerous than this in the U.S. And that's why I don't live in NO -- it IS too dangerous, even with a car, for anyone.
Love, C.