Some days...

[la_marquise]

Some days, I have things to say -- sometimes funny, sometimes political, sometimes just, y'know stuff. Some days, stuff happens that I want to write about. Some days, I have things I want to say that I know I shouldn't, that might not be helpful or useful, that might not be nice, that I know that, if I say, all that will happen is that I'll get told I'm not allowed to think that.
So I write them down anyway, and then I delete them or tuck them away when no-one can see.
Today is one of those days. (No, it's not big dramatic bad news.)

The cats are loving the warmer weather, even while I am melting. And we had a lovely time in Spain. The book is proceeding.

Skirt of the day: silk patchwork

Comments

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

Next time you have one of those things to say, instead of hiding it or deleting it, post it. For me, because I'd like to see what it is you think you shouldn't be thinking or saying.

People often tell me I don't have to be helpful, useful or nice all the time. The last one is roughest for me to deal with in a public forum.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I'm really not sure I dare. That thing about having to be nice is a real pain sometimes.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

There are posts I don't write that just go round and round in my head; but if I wrote them, I might post them, so I don't.

I'm glad Spain was good; I hope you'll tell us more about it...

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Yes, I do the round and round thing, too. Maybe we should start a community for such things?
I'm bad at writing up trips, because I tend to separate 'home time' and 'away time' very sharply in my head. But I'll try, because we saw some very interesting places, and many birds, and Extremadura is very beautiful.

[stina-leicht.livejournal.com]

[hugs] :) Thanks for posting, nonetheless.

[aliettedb.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
I usually bitch about those things to my husband, who takes it in a spirit of gallantry and tells me to go to bed...

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

The marquis does much the same. :-)

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

I think people who are really your friends (even if you only know them online) will always want you to say what you want to say.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Thank you!

[klwilliams.livejournal.com]

Hmm. You would probably not be happy here right now. It's been warm (sometimes even hot) and sunny all week. The cats love it, and are shedding like mad.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I would be hiding in the shadiest place I could fine.

[kateelliott.livejournal.com]

Well, *I* want to know. But I do exactly the same thing. :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Than k you.
Some things are just hard to put into writing, I think.

[aberwyn.livejournal.com]

Don't forget, you can "friends lock" your posts. If you want to post something Not Nice, I'd say go right ahead but lock so that only your friends can read it.

Some things will bother us until we get them out by telling others.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

thank you.

[coth.livejournal.com]

I do this too, and these days I often do it on LJ. I do make private posts for things that worry me enough to write them out. I'm quite good at not looking at things I wrote and kept. But in March I wrote a very major thing that I then deleted. I deleted it for exactly the reasons you describe, but it turns out it would really be awfully useful if I had it now.

I value LJ when it is a conversation with close friends, commenting on and exploring our lives over time. If you wish to post, please do so, and I will do my best to respond in sympathy.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Thank you.

[bohemiancoast.livejournal.com]

I think carefully stored paper diaries is the way to go for stuff you don't want anyone else to read, really.

[lil-shepherd.livejournal.com]

You can write private posts or you can make custom lists - I have several, mainly to confine some stuff to people who I consider personal friends or are friends from a particular fandom. When I was going through the hassle with my father I admit to editing people who criticised me off the list (because I couldn't deal at the time) and would have been far more cautious about Mr Entitlement (who is easily identifiable if you happened to be in the cat showing world) if there had been more people from that world on LJ and my flist. (Apart from Ina, there was one, who I had already spoken to and who Ina knew from HP fandom.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I do something similar. But sometimes it is just venting, so...

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

Your blog- your rules!

You don't have to be nice all the time- I'd certainly admit that I'm not always so and I refuse to use filters- what you see is what you get, warts and all. :o)

[saare-snowqueen.livejournal.com]

A lot of us feel the same way about being 'nice all the time'. My sprog and I use 'nice' as a derogative. But a wisely controlled filter would allow you to vent some of your painful feelings with people you can trust to support you.

[anna-wing.livejournal.com]

It is perfectly reasonable to be careful about what one says on-line, which one may not want to have shared with the rest of the species. It is also a fact of life that almost everyone has people whom they cannot afford to offend for the sake of their livelihood. In relation to those people, complaining in private among a very small group of trusted persons, or better still, writing down your views in code in a book kept in a locked drawer, for publication only after your death, are the traditional solutions. Not everything you think has to be on-line or shared with everyone you know. Or indeed anyone.

As for the rest, who exactly has authority to tell you what you are or are not allowed to think? I dare you to actually give me names.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I have a list, but that's something I really can't post about!

[wishus.livejournal.com]

I've done this, and it's not always helpful. I email a bunch of trusted people and ask "should I post this?"

...the people who think I shouldn't are always the last to respond.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I can see that would not be helpful!

[surexit.livejournal.com]

Hiya, just wanted to let you know that I friended you because I was impressed with what you were saying and how you were behaving on yuki_onna's post about Edinburgh, and then because I realised that I'm about 99% sure that something you wrote as Kari Maund was on at least one of my reading lists during undergrad.

My journal's mostly fannish, so I feel a little odd friending a non-fannish journal. Um, sorry about that?

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Fannish is good: I am both an sf fan and a Hong Kong film fan myself.
Nice to meet you.
And thank you.

[ms-cataclysm.livejournal.com]

I have no clever or sensible things to say but send hugs on behalf of Holly and Panda .

I suppose I could send Trude round to be sick over annoying people. She's had lots of practice.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Poor Trude.
And hugs back, from my three.

[a-d-medievalist.livejournal.com]

Well, you know that I have read between the lines now and again. I do the same, and have LJ posts that are private, letters I've never sent, and I realize I still wish in many ways I'd sent, or posted.

Do what feels right. Call or email and rant if you need it. Filter to small groups if that's good (I have a lot of small filters, targeted to different audiences and for different levels of trust-- you, poor thing, are on almost all of them!). Write, and cry, and swear, and delete, if that's what works.

But know this: I am sure I am not speaking only for myself when I say that there are people like me who think you are fab, and amazing, and count themselves lucky to call you a friend, and would always want to hear your opinion. In my case, I can imagine not agreeing with you on something, and even telling you why. But I cannot imagine you saying anything about anything that would signal a necessary and permanent parting of the ways.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Thank you.

[opheliastorn.livejournal.com]

I was impressed by what you had to say on Valente's journal, and your dignity in the face of the animosity there.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Thank you.
I didn't want to cause a riot, and I regret that feelings were hurt.

[attimes-bracing.livejournal.com]

A big hug and lower temperatures.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

We will perform weather magic.