Sexual harassment.

[la_marquise]

jimhines has some important things to say here about sexual harassment. Go and read. I'll still be here.

It looks, I know, as if this is a subject some of us keep banging on about. It's a subject I know I rant about, and people's eyes glaze over and they turn away. But the thing is, I rant because this is a big deal, a big problem, and it isn't going away. I've been going to sf conventions since I was 13. I had my first brush with unwanted male attention at a con when I was 15. (Outside a convention? I was 12.) The last time I experienced harassment was last August, from a drunk in a pub. Being female all too often means being treated as if you are in some ways public property every time you step outside your front door (and sometimes before then, too). It never lets up. How you move, look, speak, stand, breathe, dress: it all comes in for attention. And it can be all but impossible to get others to listen to your concerns, let alone do something about it.
Jim is one of the good guys. There are a lot of you out there, I know. It takes men and women together to deal with this stuff. Speak out, speak up: it's a sad fact of our culture that men are listened to more than women. So use it.
And to my female friends, we're in this together. I've got your back.

Comments

[caffeine-fairy.livejournal.com]

May I encourage you to check out

http://backupproject.livejournal.com/profile

[history-monk.livejournal.com]

Joined.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

That's a great project, indeed.

[saare-snowqueen.livejournal.com]

I think you and Jim are totally right. And I applaud you for taking such a forceful stand. I'm with you all the way and promise to speak up and out if I'm at a Con and see harassment happening.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Thank you.

[ex-triciasu.livejournal.com]

This.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

The perpetual decency of Jim never ceases to amaze and delight me.

[a-d-medievalist.livejournal.com]

*boggles at idea that people could think you were going on about it*

hugs.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Oh, I've been de-friended for it!

[a-d-medievalist.livejournal.com]

By people not so much your friend, then.

Is this still sort of carrying on from whatever the freakiness was that happened at World Fantasy, or just sensible reminders in general? Not that it matters, but I've not been keeping up much.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

It's a result of a conversation that came up in the wake of that elsewhere, but about something else, if that makes sense.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

That's awful.

[stevegreen.livejournal.com]

Apologies for the erroreous reply. I still feel the concomm was in the wrong, but I made them sound more arrogant than they deserved.

[stevegreen.livejournal.com]

Corrected version of my previous comment (which I just deleted); amendment in bold:

I heard of one regional North American event which a number of people planned not to attend because the committee had failed to decline the membership application from someone accused of persistent harrassment. The committee responded that it was not for it to decide the truth of such charges, but failed to explain why it appeared to be abstaining from its duty of care towards female members. So yes, Julie, it continues to happen.

[anna-wing.livejournal.com]

Lobby for legislation and enforcement of legislation. Organise, gather allies, raise funds, sue. Law regulates behaviour, and constant, reliable enforcement of the law does change behaviour (and over time, attitudes). Make fear work for you, not against you, be someone the law serves.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

If only we were that organised... But in theory the laws are there, but con committees and fans worry about external interference and so forth, and some fans see the whole issue as 'bringing fandom into disrepute' -- the same old excuse.

[anna-wing.livejournal.com]

Indeed. I have no great patience with fannish omerta (though obviously my involvement in fandom is so peripheral now that I can afford to say this; it is not a significant part of my social life or livelihood). Fandom is already brought into disrepute when it fails to deal with such actions. Going to the hotel management or the police is merely seeking a remedy for its internal failure. A bit of gaiatsu in such circumstances might actually be helpful.

In any case, now that I think of it, it would only take one or two well-publicised instances of someone getting a criminal record (and a fine, gaol, flogging, whatever suits in the jurisdiction in which it occurs) to scare a lot of the scum into moderating their behaviour. Because they will never be sure that their next victim (or the con committee) will not do the same. Heads on spikes, that's the ticket.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

That would certainly work. I suspect one of the problems is that the offenders generally stick to low-level harassment, and it can be hard to get the police to take that seriously.

[stevegreen.livejournal.com]

At a recent horror group meeting, a female friend of mine was being harrassed by a drunk guy she knew from her place of work and had probably tracked her to that event via Facebook (although he claimed it was a total coincidence). As the meeting wound to a close, my companion and I were waiting for a cab (she was staying over at my place) and this guy continued to creep her out, ignoring all of her rebuffs. Finaally, I stepped in: I tried a friendly "Time to go home", then a more assertive tone and eventually - in some desperation - let him believe she was 'with' me (which she was, but not in that sense). He left. I apologised for playing the macho card, to be told she was very grateful I'd intervened; it still felt odd.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

That was exactly the right thing to do. Thank you: you're one of the good guys, you know.

[birdsedge.livejournal.com]

At my age it tends not to be a problem (for me), but I would willingly step in if I saw someone else in trouble. Jim's post makes a lot of sense.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

He's a very decent, genuine guy. We need more like him speaking out, I think.
You, of course, rock. As ever.

[stevegreen.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't it be wonderful if voices of reason could drown out grunts of ignorance?

[stevegreen.livejournal.com]

I thank you for those kind words, Kari, but I just wished the idiot had listened to my friend and I'd not have had to pull out the 'guy' card. Trouble is, that's the only one some of these jerks seem to take any notice of.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Indeed. But if more and more men speak out, maybe these idiots will eventually get the message and behave better.