la_marquise (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
la_marquise) wrote2009-06-18 04:53 pm
la_marquise) wrote2009-06-18 04:53 pm
Entry tags:
SOS Save My Dignity
Dear Fellow Felines,
Your aid is urgently required at my house. My humans have gone completely insane. Last night, the marquise took away all the food and made me stay indoors from 6 pm. This morning the marquis put me in a box and took me to visit my fan club at the vets. I quite liked that, but the marquis forgot that I am supposed to go on the lead, because I am Top Cat, and then he went and left me at the vet. And the fan club didn't spend all their time making a fuss of me. Nor did they feed me. Instead they squeezed my foot which is sore and then stuck needles in me and I went to sleep. And when I woke up my sore foot was completely wrapped up in nasty itchy cloth stuff which I can't take off, and my head had been stuck in a lampshade. they pretended to be sorry and gave me food and fussed me, but I knew they had been Up To No Good. When the marquise arrived, I told her about the bad wrapping stuff and the lampshade, and she scratched my very itchy ear for me, but she left all the things on me and made me go in the box again. Now she won't give me gushy food, only dry stuff, and she won't let me out, and the lampshade keeps getting in my way and my foot is sore AND itchy.
Rescue is urgently needed. I am relying on you all.
yours in martyrdom,
Iskander.
NB: Ish got into a fight last week and was bitten quite badly on one toe on his right hind leg. We kept it clean, but it started to go nasty and as a result he's been cleaned up, x-rayed and generally checked out by the vet. He is deeply not impressed, although the knowledge that I paid ££££OMGOUCH for this seems to be some consolation to him. He has to go back to have dressings changed on Saturday, so I'm staying home this weekend after all (we were due to go to Bath with friends. P will go by himself.) Well, I guess that will mean I can catch up on housework and writing (the cold is retreating slowly).
Your aid is urgently required at my house. My humans have gone completely insane. Last night, the marquise took away all the food and made me stay indoors from 6 pm. This morning the marquis put me in a box and took me to visit my fan club at the vets. I quite liked that, but the marquis forgot that I am supposed to go on the lead, because I am Top Cat, and then he went and left me at the vet. And the fan club didn't spend all their time making a fuss of me. Nor did they feed me. Instead they squeezed my foot which is sore and then stuck needles in me and I went to sleep. And when I woke up my sore foot was completely wrapped up in nasty itchy cloth stuff which I can't take off, and my head had been stuck in a lampshade. they pretended to be sorry and gave me food and fussed me, but I knew they had been Up To No Good. When the marquise arrived, I told her about the bad wrapping stuff and the lampshade, and she scratched my very itchy ear for me, but she left all the things on me and made me go in the box again. Now she won't give me gushy food, only dry stuff, and she won't let me out, and the lampshade keeps getting in my way and my foot is sore AND itchy.
Rescue is urgently needed. I am relying on you all.
yours in martyrdom,
Iskander.
NB: Ish got into a fight last week and was bitten quite badly on one toe on his right hind leg. We kept it clean, but it started to go nasty and as a result he's been cleaned up, x-rayed and generally checked out by the vet. He is deeply not impressed, although the knowledge that I paid ££££OMGOUCH for this seems to be some consolation to him. He has to go back to have dressings changed on Saturday, so I'm staying home this weekend after all (we were due to go to Bath with friends. P will go by himself.) Well, I guess that will mean I can catch up on housework and writing (the cold is retreating slowly).
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Sorry to hear about your troubles, mate. If I was nearer I'd come over with a hacksaw and get the lampshade off. I've texted you the number of a bloke who fixes this sort of thing and can do your treacherous humans while he's about it.
I went to the vet once and they had not only my bollocks but also my tail off!!! Not going again, that's for sure.
Suggest you throw the water cooler through the window and make a run for it over the flowerbeds. I saw it on the box once.
Yrs in sympathy
Sid
Ozymandias writes:
Can haz photo of you in lampshade pls? I bet it is
very funnydead stylish, everyone will want one.Re: Ozymandias writes:
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A few years ago I had very itchy ears, but the more I scratched them, the more they itched and hurt. Also, I was feeling very weak and tired all the time. My person took me to the Vet and she put something cold and slimy into my ears and then pulled out a lot of brown and black gunk. That was bad enough but then she stuck a needle in me and the stuff she injected hurt soooooo much I jumped onto the floor and yowled.
BUT my ears stopped itching and soon I felt like eating and playing again. Sometimes we animals have to put up with discomfort - just like humans if we want to be healthy.
Your friend
Neri
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Luv from Monteray Bay
I will rescue you!
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We would come to your aid, but outside the window there's this scary white bird who intimidates us so we can't escape.
Will send scratches for itchy ear via tame human.
Big + Little
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xx frootcat
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And I didn't get my head stuck in a stupid lampshade and have to bring it home with me hahahaha.Regards,
Zil
Oz adds ...
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Our sympathies on the insanity occurring among your humans. To avoid the lampshade, have you considered moving into a shell, so that your head can contract entirely? Humans are unable to apply lampshades when you do that.
Yours,
Dymphna and G'Kwan
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What an excellent way to stop your humans going away so that you can have laps and fuss and sitting on them all weekend. I will now go next door and get myself chewed up by the Bad Black Cat.
Yrs in solidarity,
Tabitha.
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I shall battle those crazy humans for you! Yarrrrr!
Lily
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Owie! Poor kitty!
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While I feel for the repeated indignities you have had to suffer, I must say that I have fared far worse. I must live with the insult my human has inflicted on my every day of ever one of my nine lives.
Still sympathetic,
Rat
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We'd come rescue you, but our Mom bribed us with wet food. Sorry, pal, you're on your own.
From the other side of the pond
--the Fearsome Foursome
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Meep! Feel better!
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Ish
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At least you get to go outside. After packing us all up in crates and putting us into a noisy metal transport device, then our humans locked us in a kennel for a month. We have been in a new house for six months now, and they still won't let us out. What are coyotes and bears?
Feel better soon.
The Menagerie
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I had one of those Elizabethan ruff things once. I found throwing up on it made my minions remove it. Recommended!
Would say more, but someone just opened a tin of tuna,
Sedona
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I am very sorry about your hurty paw. I would come over and commiserate except that I no longer have a 24 hour chauffeur .
love Panda