Oh love, I know what you mean. I went for years trying to find a "duty" and "responsible" reason for going to cons, because enjoying them wasn't permitted. It went against everything I had been brought up to believe. Of course we have permission to write and to enjoy things, just sometimes it's hard to convince that little demon, sitting on our shoulder, whispering in our ear of it! *hugs* Keep giving yourself permission cos I love what you write!