Kari I admire you a lot for speaking about all of this openly and candidly.
I can relate to this (although I'm a terrible skier and never let that stop me) because hate doing anything if I think people are looking at me. I go to pieces. That's why I'm a writer--the effort is offstage, invisible to the audience. Exams are hard for me because I feel like I'm being watched while I problem-solve.
About exams. You know that I have been struggling to learn maths and stuff for some years now. A surprising amount of that is about confidence, but not in the way people usually mean confidence. Not putting up a false front, not faking anything. Just being willing to fail. A lot. Becoming really comfortable with failure, learning to sleep with it, breathe with it, hold hands with it. When you're OK with failing, you become confident. Everything is OK because failing is the road.
I think, also, though, that it's important to recognise that being sensitive to criticism, real or imagined/future, is a serious barrier for some of us. We are told to grow a thick skin, but how can a person with a thick skin feel anything? So for me, having one or two trusted readers that I don't mind if they see me in my metaphorical underpants, that helps a lot.
I have been reading your posts recently and really, really admiring you for putting yourself out there. Thank you for writing.
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I can relate to this (although I'm a terrible skier and never let that stop me) because hate doing anything if I think people are looking at me. I go to pieces. That's why I'm a writer--the effort is offstage, invisible to the audience. Exams are hard for me because I feel like I'm being watched while I problem-solve.
About exams. You know that I have been struggling to learn maths and stuff for some years now. A surprising amount of that is about confidence, but not in the way people usually mean confidence. Not putting up a false front, not faking anything. Just being willing to fail. A lot. Becoming really comfortable with failure, learning to sleep with it, breathe with it, hold hands with it. When you're OK with failing, you become confident. Everything is OK because failing is the road.
I think, also, though, that it's important to recognise that being sensitive to criticism, real or imagined/future, is a serious barrier for some of us. We are told to grow a thick skin, but how can a person with a thick skin feel anything? So for me, having one or two trusted readers that I don't mind if they see me in my metaphorical underpants, that helps a lot.
I have been reading your posts recently and really, really admiring you for putting yourself out there. Thank you for writing.