I am sorry because this post is all about me and it's a bit of a hijack of your thread, but it is in response to your comment above. Courage is not necessarily innate, but built. I was told as a child by my family that I was good enough - their criticism, when it came, was objective, and I was made to feel that though my behaviour might be a problem, I myself was not. This sort of early input lasts. I was a shy person, but when I met C, who had been a psychotherapist, he encouraged me to do the inner work on self esteem rather than ego. I have plenty of the latter, but have to keep it in check: I monitor my own behaviour quite a lot, and I don't always like it, but I don't assume that I am evil and must be destroyed if I do something low.
People are afraid of self confidence, especially in women - Karen puts her finger on it with her remark about lack of caring. |Many men, in particular, can sense that one does not really give a shit what they think, and because we are a power-driven society, like most, they often knuckle under to it. But it has to be worked on, and come from something deep and real, not just special-snowflakeism. Starhawk, writing on power-from-within, not power-over, has some interesting things to say on this.
In fact, you have this capacity - I have seen you stand up to people on a number of occasions and you usually win, because they sense that inner core. It's when you are sure of your ground - you don't pick pointless fights - and usually on other people's behalf. All I can say is that in turn we, your friends, will try to have your back, because we know you have ours. We have confidence in you.
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People are afraid of self confidence, especially in women - Karen puts her finger on it with her remark about lack of caring. |Many men, in particular, can sense that one does not really give a shit what they think, and because we are a power-driven society, like most, they often knuckle under to it. But it has to be worked on, and come from something deep and real, not just special-snowflakeism. Starhawk, writing on power-from-within, not power-over, has some interesting things to say on this.
In fact, you have this capacity - I have seen you stand up to people on a number of occasions and you usually win, because they sense that inner core. It's when you are sure of your ground - you don't pick pointless fights - and usually on other people's behalf. All I can say is that in turn we, your friends, will try to have your back, because we know you have ours. We have confidence in you.