I love your stories. I'm glad for me that you write them.

As for the self-patrol, self-monitoring, I fight it a lot. Sounds like you've been cursed with more asshatery in that department (and notice how the word hate crops up in that) than I have been. What I've discovered for myself is that speaking up, fighting the battle, even if I lose, matters to me. So I'm very glad you wrote the post because you made a stand.

If you ever get in a wild mood, check out my dissertation. I talk a lot about how Victorian women were hegemonically made to participate in their own oppression. http://www.dianapfrancis.com/about/dissertation/

Hugs. And keep writing. We've got your back.