You are both people I look up to as writers and as people, and I find the way this industry and the wider fannish sphere has behaved -- and to Kate Elliott and Kit Kerr and Barbara Hambly and Charles Saunders and Tanith Lee and.... It takes my breath away. In a bad way.
I'm pushing back more and more when someone tells me they don't read women or fantasy (except the male stuff) or those old writers because this matters. It's destroying people.