This is very interesting to me, because I have never felt a conflict between rules and principles. I think I always examined rules to see if I could figure out how they grew out of underlying principles. If I couldn't see how a rule grew from some principle then I ignored the rule. So, to me, rules (or rather, the ones I accept as valid) are simply concrete expressions of principles.

Which isn't to say that there aren't different ways in which principles can be instantiated in rules and consequent conflicts. But, for me, such conflicts don't represent a rule/principle opposition, but something more tangled and complex.

I think I also have a different relationship to the concept of self-censorship. There are lots of things I don't say and lots of things I can't say. But self-censorship implies that the natural inclination is to say things and that the self-censorship kicks in to prevent that natural inclination being expressed. My own natural inclination is to think things. Saying them is a secondary step that has never come naturally. So rather than having to exercise self control and reign in what I say, I find that I struggle to do the opposite, to force myself into vocalising thoughts that I usually keep silent.

This does relate back to principles. Like you, I do feel like there are things I ought to speak out on. But for me, the conflict in doing so is not a conflict with rules, it's a conflict with my own inclination to not speak.

I don't know exactly how this relates to fantasy. But I do know that I'm attracted to stories that in some way manage to articulate some of the things that I find myself unable to say. I also know that I'm attracted to stories where the rules of the fictional world are expressions of underlying principles (including ethical principles) and where characters live conflicted and complex lives in which the rules and principles get tangled and messy. In fantasy terms, I'm most likely to find this in fiction based in fairytale, myth, and legend.