Too much is *quite* enough

Dear Mother Nature,
May I take this opportunity to have a brief word with you on the subject of snails? There are, of course, splendid creatures, one of your most colourful, varied and intriguing creations, pleasing to the eye, fascinating to observe and doubtless most vital in their function.
Nevertheless, I find it incumbent upon myself to request of you, most politely, if we might experience a small reduction in their numbers, at least in our garden, at least for, say, a week or two, in order that the marquis may cease to swear and fume over his borage and mourn his tarragon? Moreover, having myself just spent some fifteen minutes carefully relocating several of these most wonderful gastropodes from our rhubarb to the equally fine -- nay, finer -- realm of over-the-fence-and-onto-the-nettle-patch-belonging-to-the-airfield, prior to then removing yet more superb specimens from the top of the rose bushes, I can only urge you to please, please, please call them off.
yours in supplication,
the marquise (rather sticky)